Scared to Start School

I’ve been filled with anxiety the past week with starting up classes again. I really don’t want a repeat of last semester. Last semester (you probably know) I gradually went downhill over a period of weeks. I got so ill that I had to finish my semester from my dorm for the most part. I am scared because I don’t know how much I’ll be able to handle, everyday is so different for me. I just want to have a good year to be honest. Last year was shitty in every way between my roommates, boys, and being sick nothing ever went my way. It was one bad thing after another and I think that’s why I am so nervous for this year.

I’m also feeling so much FOMO with not being able to attend all the social events I want to. I feel like I miss out on meeting so many different people, that it’s so hard to branch out. I am a very social butterfly and have so many friends, but in order to maintain these relationships I need to be present at things. I also just want to fit in but being sick has made me stand out in many ways as a classmate, sibling, daughter, and friend. I end up breaking promises, and canceling plans and I feel so guilty. I feel like people cannot rely on me because of it. Not to sound selfish, but I feel like my life has been so hard that I deserve for something good to finally come my way. I have been through so many hardships for someone my age and watched all my friends have great things happen to them ( I don’t like to self pity, but I’m just so anxious!!). I am going to try to keep up with my friends as much as I can, spend less time in bed, and try to have as much fun as possible. I just hope everything goes right for once.


6 thoughts on “Scared to Start School

  1. This post is so vulnerable, yet so relatable! I had a great time in college my first two years – probably because I lived at home and didn’t have much “adult responsibility” to worry about. But, I transferred schools this semester. I now live 2 hours away from everything I’ve known, don’t know people here, and it’s been hard. I was actually telling my mom last night how weird of a sensation it is: I don’t want to be lonely + I want friends because I don’t want to miss out on the whole experience, but, at the same time, I have no desire to get out and leave my apartment. Life can be hard sometimes, but we have to show it who’s boss!! Good luck this year! I’ll be praying for you.

    1. Thank you!! I hope you have a great semester!! I’m glad you can relate!! I’m sure once you get settled in everything will come into place for you! Xx

  2. I can relate to this post in a way that I am also anxious for school, but every time I feel that worry and self-doubt, I lead back to this piece of scripture where God says, “Be anxious for nothing; Instead pray about everything: tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Jesus Christ.” – Phillipians 4:6-7

  3. One strategy that works for me is to allow myself a certain amount of time to wallow in my worst feelings, then deliberately put the anxiety aside and get to work on whatever I’m dreading.

    Give yourself permission to have all of your feelings, and you may find that they become easier to carry.

    You will get out there and try, and you will experience the results. Some days will be good; others will suck. That is your reality. I’m sorry for that, and, I agree, it is unfair.

    The only real failure is giving up. You will never get what you dream of if you don’t make the attempt.

    Stay strong. Keep smiling. It beats the alternative. 🙂

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