I love the holiday July 4th. Why? Because everything and everyone is so festive and joyous-not something you come across everyday. Watching fireworks with family and friends is so nice. While I was watching the fireworks over the water, I had tears in my eyes and a big smile on my face. I had felt really good for the first time in a long time yesterday. Normally I’d be in bed and not able to watch or hear the fireworks. Yesterday, I got to stand there with everyone else, listen to the bangs and see the beautiful colors. I feel so thankful. So so thankful that I could witness such an ordinary experience to others for once. I turned to my mom at one point and said “Mom, I’m here, I’m really here! And the noise isn’t bothering me or anything!” She looked at me and rubbed my shoulder and said “I know, I’m so proud of you.” Yesterday I was proud of myself. How far I’ve come since the beginning 3 almost 4 years ago. Even though I’m in a really rough patch of my illness, I still made it to a social event for the first time in months. Yes I will struggle the rest of my life but that’s what makes orindary experiences to others-special to me.