Well tonight proves why I am better off by myself then going out and trying to find my friends. Everyone has someone and I have no one since being gone. It’s really freaking depressing when your friend begs you to come to a party and immediately ditches you on the spot and you know no one. People who I had no idea knew each other know each other now, and it’s just so hard because I can’t seem to keep up or catch up. Trying to keep up a social life is just too difficult for me at this point, because I get left in the dust. The worst part is that nobody even understands. Like yes, I have FOMO but then once I’m there I think my FOMO is even worse since I don’t know anyone anymore. I’m literally a stranger. Even worse than that is that I get used a lot by my friends. I just wish I had one good friend I knew I could depend on, that understood me. And I also wish I wasn’t a stranger to a lot of people. It’s hard disappearing and then coming back. I can barely tell you what my social life was like last year because I don’t remember it. It just seems to fade quicker and quicker. This just isn’t for me anymore, I’d rather be at home with my parents at this point.