Fish Out of Water

Well tonight proves why I am better off by myself then going out and trying to find my friends. Everyone has someone and I have no one since being gone. It’s really freaking depressing when your friend begs you to come to a party and immediately ditches you on the spot and you know no one. People who I had no idea knew each other know each other now, and it’s just so hard because I can’t seem to keep up or catch up. Trying to keep up a social life is just too difficult for me at this point, because I get left in the dust. The worst part is that nobody even understands. Like yes, I have FOMO but then once I’m there I think my FOMO is even worse since I don’t know anyone anymore. I’m literally a stranger. Even worse than that is that I get used a lot by my friends. I just wish I had one good friend I knew I could depend on, that understood me. And I also wish I wasn’t a stranger to a lot of people. It’s hard disappearing and then coming back. I can barely tell you what my social life was like last year because I don’t remember it. It just seems to fade quicker and quicker. This just isn’t for me anymore, I’d rather be at home with my parents at this point.

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4 thoughts on “Fish Out of Water

  1. I can relate. There was a point in my life where a medication given to me in the ER left me to unable to walk for 26 consecutive days. That in turn, left me unable to work for two years. The rehab getting over it, the struggle to walk, the EXHAUSTION, and absolute loneliness became a bitter battle. It took so long to get over, I’ve lost contact with many ‘friends’ but not the ones that mattered. The ones that mattered decided I mattered and ‘forced’ me to socialize. Sometimes those social gatherings were just us. Three friends I can depend on for anything and vice versa. One I’ve been friends since elementary school. If they really love you, they’ll find a way, not an excuse. Be encouraged. “Promise me you’ll always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you’ll ever know.” – A.A. Milne -creator of Winnie the Pooh
    (I love quotes…)

  2. So, here’s what I want you to do–go to classes and look around for that one person who looks as lost as you feel. Trust me, there is always someone in college classes that feels overwhelmed. Make it a point to talk to them and ask if they would like to meet to study. Develop that one relationship and you will find a friend. Regards, Suzanne

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