It is currently 9:46 pm on Sunday December 22, 2019. If you would’ve told me that I would be this healthy a year ago, I would’ve laughed in your face.
Today I was feeling pretty down about where I am post grad, and wasn’t thinking logically. I happen to be the youngest in my friend group and obviously the least healthy (that I know of) in the group. They’ve made a life for themselves and I’m still figuring mine out.
I tend compare myself to everyone else and never think about what I’ve been through. The challenges that I have overcome most will never face. Since I’ve gotten healthier and healthier I tend to live further and further in denial that I am different than everyone else and will be for the rest of eternity. I’m hard on myself because I think of myself like everyone else and have to catch up and be just like them.
But the truth is I’m not, I might never be and I’ll still turn out okay. Here’s why I know that’s true: I persevered through college (graduating on time) in a time where I was in a deep health crisis and we knew nothing about it. I didn’t give up no matter how ill I was. I always came out on the other side, defeating many battles of every thinkable circumstance. It was mentally and physically draining.
Honestly, I sit here today and feel as if I was robbed of 5 prime years of my life, in a sense that I will never get them back to live life to the fullest. In those 5 years I learned absolute crucial life lessons that will prepare me for anything that comes my way in the future. Would I be lying if I said I wouldn’t want to change anything from the past 5 years? HECK YES. But did I learn valuable lessons that will carry and help steer me through the rest of my life? Most definitely.
It is so freeing to think that I can do pretty much whatever I want to do with my life from now on (within reason, there are still boundaries) and I didn’t have that option even 6 months ago. Things that may be small and unimportant to you might be huge amazing things to me. To be able to workout for 30 mins a day and do other things on top of that? Unimaginable.
So to the Sydney earlier today: You’ll be successful in your own unique way. Your life will be the effort you put into it. See what you’re capable of conquering and the willpower you have held together throughout everything. You can put your mind to do anything you want it to. It will all turn out okay and you’ll look back at this and add it as another pinpoint to the map of your journey.