It is currently 9:46 pm on Sunday December 22, 2019. If you would’ve told me that I would be this healthy a year ago, I would’ve laughed in your face.
Today I was feeling pretty down about where I am post grad, and wasn’t thinking logically. I happen to be the youngest in my friend group and obviously the least healthy (that I know of) in the group. They’ve made a life for themselves and I’m still figuring mine out.
I tend compare myself to everyone else and never think about what I’ve been through. The challenges that I have overcome most will never face. Since I’ve gotten healthier and healthier I tend to live further and further in denial that I am different than everyone else and will be for the rest of eternity. I’m hard on myself because I think of myself like everyone else and have to catch up and be just like them.
But the truth is I’m not, I might never be and I’ll still turn out okay. Here’s why I know that’s true: I persevered through college (graduating on time) in a time where I was in a deep health crisis and we knew nothing about it. I didn’t give up no matter how ill I was. I always came out on the other side, defeating many battles of every thinkable circumstance. It was mentally and physically draining especially when you have immense brain fog and can’t always think clearly.
Honestly, I sit here today and feel as if I was robbed of 5 prime years of my life, in a sense that I will never get them back to live life to the fullest. In those 5 years I learned absolute crucial life lessons that will prepare me for anything that comes my way in the future. Would I be lying if I said I wouldn’t want to change anything from the past 5 years? HECK YES. But did I learn valuable lessons that will carry and help steer me through the rest of my life? Most definitely.
It is so freeing to think that I can do pretty much whatever I want to do with my life from now on (within reason, there are still boundaries) and I didn’t have that option even 6 months ago. Things that may be small and unimportant to you might be huge amazing things to me. To be able to workout for 30 mins a day and do other things on top of that? Unimaginable.
So to the Sydney earlier today: You’ll be successful in your own unique way. Your life will be the effort you put into it. See what you’re capable of conquering and the willpower you have held together throughout everything. You can put your mind to do anything you want it to. It will all turn out okay and you’ll look back at this and add it as another pinpoint to the map of your journey.
I grew up every ill and doctors said I’d be dead by age 30. So early on I sought out holistic alternative therapies and solutions and that became my career. I’m 68 now and still walk every day for an hour, exercise, and stay active in other ways. Almost my entire college career I was a single mom, with serious asthma, hospital and ER visits, numerous chest infections, migrane headaches, off and on deep depression, injuries from falling through a hole in the floor of a store, yet I made it through school and stayed active as a Mom, student, hiker and part time employee until graduation.
The spirit and mind are powerful things. Glad you, too, have been able to keep moving forward in spite of your illness and struggle. May the road ahead get easier and easier and may you experience miracles of healing in all ways!
Thank you so much! And thank you so much for sharing your story! You are strong and brave and I’m glad you didn’t let your illness take over your life.
There is a saying that goes
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I see at the start you comparing yourself to your friends, with the statements of You being the least healthiest.
You being the youngest.
They had “made” a life for themselves while you were figuring yours out.
It often looks like other people have “it” together, when in reality they are struggling just as much. Yeah they have come across the obstacles you are struggling with but we all have our struggles. As your friends you are figuring out that those tough uncomfortable places in life are the best. You grow more you are often happier when you are in a state of discomfort.
Stop comparing yourself to others because you are not comparing apples to apples. You are comparing to where they are now not 4 years ago. They were in the same boat as you. Enjoy the voyage as you are seeing. Remember failure is life operating you for success.
Go get’em
You’re 10000% right! Thank you!!