Focusing on Myself

I’ve had a major change in my attitude. I don’t really like to buy into the craziness of college anymore. I’ve really calmed down lately, and could honestly care less about missing out. I know things are going to be more active when everyone comes back to school. But honestly, I don’t really care. I don’t really care about going to frat parties anymore or any of that stuff anymore. I’d rather go to bar and relax. I honestly don’t even like drinking anymore. I don’t know if its my medicine or what but I’d honestly rather go to bar and be sober. The thing is I am kind of over the college bar scene as well. I’m not really sure if its because it’s my last year of college or what. I really like going to this fancy place thats more of the older 20’s because it’s not as crazy. I’ve also decided to focus on myself more and try to find that self love. It’s been really hard lately because my body is always changing and its not the most fun thing to be going through. But when I get into remission maybe I’ll get back into the swing of things.

I’ve decided I really want to focus on my blog again and enjoying that. My blog has brought me so many opportunities and new friends. I honestly love my followers with all my heart. It’s so interesting to hear what you guys have to say. My blog hasn’t been as active as it used to be. That’s because I’ve gotten better and I’ve been able to do things and not sit in bed all day, but that’s not an excuse to not blog. I also tend to be really tired after doing things. I know I’ve slacked off and lost a lot of readers but I want to do better. I want to make a difference and share my story.

It’s so important to have a positive attitude no matter what you’re going through. I know that I am not always positive but I really try to be. Self love is so important and I’ve really not been focusing on it. It’s so hard to accomplish but I know many people that have. I’ve really noticed that a lot of college students are so selfish and can talk down to their friends. I am really not about that anymore and I don’t want to get caught up in the bullshit anymore. I know it’s selfish but if they’re going to be selfish then I am too. My selfish will be way different though.

Something that has helped me a lot was my group chat of people who are being treated by the same doctor and going through similar things. My situation happens to be a lot different then most of them, but they have a lot of the same social issues. Being sick can be very isolating and I’ve done my best to try to be more social. What also makes me feel better is that there are a few girls close to my same age going through what I have been. I honestly felt so alone for so long and this group chat has made such a difference. Every girl in that group is so supportive. For example, I went through a procedure yesterday and some of the girls checked in on me. I honestly only have a few friends who actually ask how I am doing and how I am feeling. Because like I said a lot of college kids don’t understand and they’re caught up in their own lives which is pretty petty if you ask me. I promise to do different, and find things that make me happy. I really don’t need to be in toxic situations anymore and I feel as if I’ve really done a lot of growing up this summer.