I feel like I always complain and that just sucks. Like I don’t mean to be so negative but it’s super hard. I’ve been going through a really bad patch because my medicine isn’t right sadly. I’m always tired like ALWAYS. And today I experienced the worst joint pain. Today was bid day for my sorority. I really wanted to show up because I miss my sisters and I haven’t seen them in forever. I didn’t think it was gonna be a big deal but it really was. With all the standing, I was feeling tired and not well and I almost ubered Home. I forgot to pick up my emergency medicine and I really really needed it. I guess I pushed myself hard today but I’m really missing out. All my sisters have bonded and I barely know most of them. I get left out when they all hang out and it puts me in an awkward situation cause I am super friendly but I end up alone a lot. We have a sisterhood retreat and social coming up. The sisterhood retreat is something I desperately want to do but I know it’s ALOT. We go overnight and do bonding activities all day. I really really need to bond with them but at the same time I feel like it will be physically exhausting and my body will give up. I’m going to a wedding during the social and EVERYONE is going to the social with dates. I also got invited to go to one of my closest friends parties before and there goes another opportunity. I’m really not sure what to do at this point and how to keep a certain mindset. I can’t accept that I’m different then everyone else because I really try hard to keep up. I think it was a huge eye opener today though. Like I really really realized how different I am then the normal college girl and how most people don’t understand. It’s truely a blessing and a curse at the same time. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know.